Welcome to Get In Her Mind, Get In Her Bed, your online guide to attracting, approaching, dating, closing, and bedding beautiful women!  Through our field tested techniques, you can learn the hidden signals of attraction used to build sexual chemistry with women and increase your confidence.  We will discuss everything from body language, NLP, and various psychology tricks you can use to increase your attractiveness.  Take a look around the site, jump to a random post, or even listen to a podcast or two.

22 November 2009 – Mirroring

Nick and Taylor discussing Mirroring techniques to build rapport.



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19 October 2009 – Rejection

Nick and Taylor talk about rejection and why it’s not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.  Use rejection to your advantage and open the doors to new groups of girls!


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icon for podpress 007 Get In Her Mind Podcast 19 October 2009 – Rejection: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Want to add some spice to your existing relationship, then go on a mystery date and get ready to reap the benefits.  Women love surprises, they like mystery, and they like it when their man cares enough to plan a day dedicated to them.  Now I am like you, I am lazy, and after I have been in an established relationship with a girl and I already know the sex is there when I want it, why do I need to goto the trouble of having a mystery date?  You do this to keep her interested in you and make her fall in love with you all over again.  Why am I talking like you need to already be in an established relationship to have a mystery date?  Well you don’t have to be, but it’s a little more difficult to pull off on the first date or two then it is say after a few months.

Let’s explain what a mystery date is.  It consists of a date where you say, “Babe, I’m taking you on friday.”  She may ask, “Where are we going?” To which you respond, “Not telling, this is a mystery date.”  And this is about all the details you will give her.  You plan out the evening and she spends the rest of the week dreaming up what you possibly have in store for her.  Too easy.

Now there are 2 levels of mystery dates you can take your girl on, let’s examine each one.  You will soon see why you won’t do a mystery date at the beginning of a relationship.

Beginners Level

This is the only time you can get away with a mystery date on a first, second, or third date.  It’s simple, “Hey I’m taking you out on Friday,” she gets excited because you don’t tell her anything else, you plan the evening, it can be dinner, trip to the zoo, picnic at the lake.  Any basic date.  The only thing about this is you don’t tell her.  Maybe mention what kind of clothes she should wear, but you could leave it up to her and then pack a sweatshirt if your plan is to have dinner under the stars.

Advanced Level

This level of mystery date involves a bit more planning, but it will be a lot more fun for your girl.  This has you planning out every detail of your date and usually involves two or more places of interest.  Start of by telling her to block off an entire day, such as Saturday.  It’s best to come up with a location that is a little out of the way, so you can build up the suspense of the drive.  Tell her nothing, in fact if you have access to her clothes, pick out the clothes for her to wear.  Everything from casual wear for if you are going to hang out down town or at the zoo, something fancy if your date will take the two of you out at night, or even some sexy lingerie if you plan on staying the night together.  The point is to have everything ready for her, so that she will feel comfortable with letting you take charge.  This is where the details are important.  Say you plan on taking her to the city, going to the local zoo, then to the hotel to change and go out on the town.  If you pack her bags for her and she forgets say her hair straightener, she will not feel sexy when going out because her hair, “Isn’t perfect.”  And it can really bring down the evening.  The point of all of this is to show that you care because you dedicated your time and effort to plan a day just for her.  It really does not matter what you do or the amount you spend, just that you took the time for her.


Like any good plan, the success of a mystery date lies in the execution.  It all starts with planning.  You must decide where and when you are going.  You must call ahead to get tickets and reservations.  If you need access to her clothing, you need to plan ahead to either have her roommate let you rummage through her items before your date, or steal a piece of clothing or two from her each time she sleeps over.  This is not something you should plan the night before.

Building Suspense

All your planning would be for not if she is not excited by your idea of the mystery date, so we are going to make it fun for her and make it feel as though she is in control.  We can create the element of surprise through predetermined courses of action and a little simple magic.  Let’s say you have decided that you will be taking your girl to the local concert at 1 pm.  At 4 pm you will take her back to the hotel room where you will shower and change, out to dinner at 6pm, and then night life and dancing, before heading back to the room to end the night.

To spice things up, we are going to create three scenarios for your girl to choose from.  Have her pick from three envelopes, inside each envelope have, “City Date” written inside of each.  City date refers to your plans to go downtown.  Just make sure she does not see the other envelopes, or you can use the world peace / sugar packet magic trick we talk about at the end of our book, if you think she will look in each one.  What you have done is create an idea that you have planned three separate dates for her, building her interest in you, when really you just had the one date planned.

Another idea is to lay out three outfits for her to choose.  I would lay out a casual sun dress, something she would wear when clubbing, and lingerie.  Based on what she chose, that would be the date.  This way at most you would only have to plan two dates.  If she chose the lingerie you know you won’t be going anywhere that night.

The key in all of this is to plan ahead.  If you have to make reservations or buy tickets then ensure you make her pick the right date, or don’t give her an option, just take her.  If you are flexible then plan a couple different scenarios, it can turn into a mystery date for yourself as well.

Nick and Taylor talk discuss techniques we use to talk to women; role playing, banter, story telling, q&a, and negs.

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icon for podpress 006 Get In Her Mind Podcast 29 May 2009 – Art of Conversation: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Nick and Taylor talk about approaching and opening women.

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icon for podpress 005 Get In Her Mind Podcast 25 May 2009 – Open and Approach: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We constantly preach that looks and style matter very little in the pickup game.  Your body language, Alpha Male presence, and ability to create sexual attraction is what ultimately will win over any woman.  In the world of business and social networking, your appearance matters just a little bit more, as impressions are made within the first four seconds of meeting a potential client or business partner, and those crucial first four seconds will make the difference between you closing the deal and you looking for a new line of work.  In a business setting you always want to dress to impress, and by this I mean you want to out dress your client by about 15%.  If you out dress them too much you may make them feel uncomfortable and if you under dress you will appear lazy, sloppy, and unbusinesslike.  15% means if they wear jeans and a t-shirt, you wear a button up shirt.  If they wear a button up shirt, you add a tie.  This goes in hand with knowing who your client is, just like in the pickup game, the know you more about your potential target, (cold reading, observations, profiling) the better chance you have at succeeding with said target.

Sooner or later throughout your conversation with a woman, it will come around to what kind of work you do.  For those of you with a really sweet job you probably have already told her twenty times what you do for a living, which is annoying in itself, but if she’s still asking you questions about your line of work, she probably digs it.  If you are the one who keeps bringing it up, she’s bored of you and in another five mintues or so you will be telling some other girl what you do for a living.  Now what if you have a real crappy job, or no job at all.  Well you can still create a professional appearance, and for under $20.  What is this secret?  Business cards.  Not just any kind of business card, a card to promote you.  Because in the pick up scene what are you doing?  Promoting yourself to potential women, right? To quote the late great comedian Mitch Hedberg, “I got a business card because I want to win some lunches.  That’s what my business card says, “Mitch Hedgerg, Potential Lunch Winner.  Give me a call, maybe we’ll have lunch, if I’m lucky!””

So create a business card to promote yourself.  Let’s say you have just gotten yourself a girl’s number and she asks for yours.  Instead of being like everyone else and typing it into her phone, say, “Let me give you my business card.”  She will definitely remember you.  If you are a student, how many other cheese dicks out there do you know have a business card, zero, because it is something that is reserved for professionals.  As girls come close to their senior year of college who do you think they will pay more attention to, the frat boy or the guy with the professional image who actually looks like he will be successful after he graduates.

What better way to make new contacts than to hand them a business card after meeting them.  Especially if you are looking for a job.  You won’t always be carrying your folder of resumes around, but you can easily have 10 business cards in your pocket.

Ok so what kind of cards are we talking about?  I actually carry around 6 different business cards, based on who I happen to meet at that time.  I have 3 different professional business cards 1 fun business card, 1 general business card, and 1 job hunting card.  The first card I have is of my publisher, Brownfish Publishing.  It has all the standard info but my job title is Vice President of Marketing.  The second card is also of Brownfish Publsihing but this has the title of General Manager.  Based on who I am talking to and what kind of contact I am trying to make, I will give out different ones.  So if I am trying to make a sale of the book, or am talking to someone about an ad campaign, I give them my V.P. of marketing card.  Or if I talking to a potential author I am trying to sign on with Brownfish, then I will give them my General Manager card.  Make sense?  I also have a Get In Her Mind card with a job title of PUA.  When I’m out at the bars and people recognize myself or Taylor, we give them our Get In Her Mind cards, because at that time, that is our professional image, not Brownfish Publishing.  I also have a standard Nick Andrews business card to give to a girl which has my basic info, email, phone number, because if I give her a PUA card, she may be turned off easily.  Last I have a fun business card, that says, “Nick Andrews, Golf Ball Whacker Guy!”   The last card I have is my job promotion card, which basicaly lists what kind of future job I would like to pursue when the time is right.  You never know when you might meet a contact in the field you want to get into.  Even if you aren’t looking for that job now, in 6 months they may call you up with an opening, you never know.

Now I know what you’re thinking, where do I get mine?  Well there are two things to remember at first, who is going to design it, and who is going to print it.  The first option to to design it yourself.  You can buy business cards at any office deport that will fit in your home printer, download a template for word and create and your own.  It’s quick and easy and it’s how I used to do mine, but after wasting all my ink and my printer jamming for the hundreth time, I decided to go online.  Just google business cards and find a site online that will print them for you.  They will look better, they have pre made templates where all you have to do is type in your information and a week later your cards will arrive in the mail.  The choice is yours, and now you know.